10 Ways to make people hate you at work

10 Ways to make people hate you at work Ask yourself: Do people like me? You get promoted in this world because people like you, not because you get work done. Theres always more than one person who can get a job done. But everyones personality is different, so when you want to differentiate yourself at work, focus on your personality. Showing the True You In fact,  a 2005 study published in the Harvard Business Review  shows that  people would rather work with someone they like whos incompetent than someone whos competent but not likable. Keep in mind that likable is not as subjective as it seems. Most people in the office agree on whos likable and whos not. For example, most people like  Bill Clinton   he just has a likable personality. Even the Bush family members, Clintons political polar opposites, say they like his personality. So, if you want to get ahead at the office, you need to figure out how to make yourself likable. Usually, its not a matter of changing your personality, but rather making sure that your true personality shows through.  Most people, if theyre true to themselves at work, are likable. Ten Ways to Blow It Then again, most people think theyre more likable than they really are, and therefore dont try hard enough. There are many things that keep people from being likable heres a list of 10 of them: •  Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism You probably dont know if youre using sarcasm as a defense mechanism, but if you use it a lot, its a safe bet that its in a defensive way. •  Being quiet because youre insecure People are inherently social animals. If you have nothing that you want to say, then youre probably not likable because you have nothing to offer. But if you do have things to say but dont say them, then youre not likable only because youre so insecure that you believe youll sound stupid when you talk. •  Not revealing emotions at work Keeping to yourself emotionally makes you seem one-dimensional, and its hard to convey likability with no depth. Most people who talk but dont reveal emotions are out of touch with their emotions. You have to know them yourself to share them with other people. Reaching Others by Reaching Out •  Being too smug as in not asking for help or not revealing that youve had help along the way To show no gratitude or no need for others is to alienate yourself. You might think that you make yourself look like Superman, able to do anything in a single bound. But superheroes dont really exist, and real people need real help. So let  them know you understand this by asking for help and expressing appreciation. •  Not seeing people for who they are If you treat people who are powerful well and people who have no power poorly then you arent seeing the whole person. Power structures dont define a person; they define a persons clout. Treat everyone with respect or you wont deserve it yourself. •  Being bored by others If youre not curious about other people, they wont be interested in you. The most likable people make other people feel interesting by genuinely caring about them. Me, Me, Me •  Being obsessed with your workload If you think work matters more than people, then thatll be true for you. And people will expect you to be a workhorse but wont want to get to know you. And they need to know you to like you. •  Not taking responsibility If people dont like you, its your own fault.  Likable people are liked in all circumstances. If you blame people for your problems, people arent going to like you even if theyre not among the people you blame. •  Hiding from objective feedback You can get it from therapists, co-workers, teachers, and coaches, but you have to seek it out. And if you dont, then you probably dont have a good sense of your least likable qualities. So you dont have the knowledge to make yourself likable. •  Not trying to change All the knowledge in the world cant overcome an inability to change. The ego is very strong and can rationalize anything. Dont let yours do that. Take criticism to heart, and address it no matter how likable you think you are to begin with. Youll be more likable right away, because listening to others and trying to change are both inherently likable qualities.